The House Husband
When I moved out to California, all I knew was where I’d be living. That’s it. No job lined up, no shows booked and a bank account with nowhere to go but down. So in just two weeks my daily to do list has gone from submitting reports and running staff meetings to washing dishes and watching Judge Mathis. While I am not married, you can call me a house husband.
The stay-at-home house husband lifestyle is different from when you graduate college and you claim to be burnt out from the college lifestyle. First of all, who knew you could burn out from sleeping late, watching Springer and binge drinking? Guess you’re left to just travel Europe on your parent’s dime. Maybe get a new car as a reward for setting the family record for number of random hookups in a four-year period. This time around I’ve had plastic surgery. That is the term my mom uses when she no longer allows me to use her credit cards. My younger sister will find this out once she returns from Costa Rica.
As a house husband, there are no trips to Europe. Traveling to me is going to the bodega on the corner for a burger after an hour of reading ESPN.com. I used to get excited about submitting payroll in time. Now I get excited about rearranging the food in the refrigerator and surprising my girlfriend with that hair mousse she needed. Sure beats surprising her with a paycheck.
But fear not, for my house husband days are numbered, because my life has direction. Right now that direction is to the closet to get the vacuum, but I’m just taking a break. In a temporary environment that is Los Angeles where film projects, theater parts and day jobs come and go I can jump in at my convenience.
As I write this I have two interviews scheduled tomorrow and once my car arrives and that final box from FedEx gets there I’m ready to roll. Because while it has been nice watching Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy and The People’s Court berate people who aspire to reach the level of human trash, all good things must come to an end. And so we work. So the bank account doesn’t plummet. So our passions can be supported. And so we can keep hooking up with at least one person.
