A Movie Theater Concert
The night before the September 20 release of Bon Jovi’s new album, "Have a Nice Day," the band is simulcasting a Times Square concert into 100 movie theaters across the country.
Since I have my ticket to see them "semi-live" at the Edwards Valencia 12 & IMAX, I have some questions for me and my fellow Bon Jovi fans as the night approaches:
Should I wear my black, skull-biker "Bon Jovi Forever" t-shirt that I forcefully turned into a tanktop?
Should I tailgate in the parking lot with a six-pack of Bud Light and attachable mullet while blasting "Livin’ on a Prayer" over and over?
Should fan club members get to the theater early and start a list?
Should we whine to security if someone doesn’t obey the list and cuts the line?
Should we forget security and just start beating on the line cutters?
Should I sneak in little bottles of vodka and rum as I purchase $4 soft drinks at the concession stand? (This is the only similarity to being at the actual concert.)
Should I hunt down hotel staff to get a wristband so I can stand next to the movie screen for two songs?
Once the concert starts, should I stand up, clap my hands and sway for two hours?
After each song should I yell, "Play Wild is the Wind!"?
Should I bring a sign and hold it up thinking Jon will see it?
Should my sign read, "Jon, please play Always for my girlfriend so I can go home and get some!"?
Should my sign read, "Jon, I want to be your ‘Bed of Roses’ girl!"?
Should my sign read… you know what, this could be its own list.
Should I bring the inflatable guitars?
Should I go to the bathroom when they play one of their songs off the new album?
Should I go to the bathroom with a bunch of women because everyone else there… will be a bunch of women?
Should I be the only one yelling "Hugh!" [McDonald, the bass player], because he is the only one who has enough spare time on stage to acknowledge me?
Should I, could I, have said the wrong things right a thousands times? (Inside Jovi fan joke. To everyone else - the lyrics from "Misunderstood")
After the show, should everyone post-party at a nearby hotel?
At the hotel should I get my guitar from my car and bring it inside for an old-fashioned singalong?
At the hotel should I get my condoms from my car and bring it inside for an old-fashioned, post-singalong orgy?
Should I ask my girlfriend’s permission to participate in that orgy?
Should I pretend those last few questions were never asked?
How about I just stop typing, open up ITunes and rock out to their new single, "Have a Nice Day?"
Should I make a sign for my rocking out that reads, "Evan, you’re a great rocker outer?"
Ok, I’m off topic. Thanks for reading. Any questions?
